What Burnout Taught Me After Shutting Down My Startup

It’s interesting, burnout looks different for everyone. I didn’t realize how deeply burnt out I was from running Haunted Castle Gaming until I stopped.

It was like being hangry. You don’t recognize you’re hungry, but everything irritates you. Then you eat, and suddenly, everything makes sense. That’s how I felt after stepping away. I looked back and thought, Oh. That wasn’t normal. I wasn’t okay.

At my peak, I was working 60, 70, sometimes even 80 hours a week. During the early days of the pandemic, I was sleeping just four hours a night, grabbing quick naps between long stretches at my computer. I kept pushing. I thought that was what founders were supposed to do.

Then, about a week after I publicly announced we were closing the company, I had a moment of quiet, and I broke down. I started crying, realizing how much I had sacrificed: time with loved ones, mental clarity, physical health, and a sense of balance I hadn’t even known I was missing.

Even two years after closing Haunted Castle Gaming, the fatigue lingered. My body would ache for no reason. I’d sleep a full night but still need naps during the day. I wasn’t taking care of myself, physically or mentally, and the effects compounded.

Even though my family was okay, even though bills were paid and life was relatively comfortable, I lived with a constant sense that everything might collapse at any moment. I worried I’d lose everything I cared about. That anxiety, that hypervigilance, it stuck with me.

We don’t talk enough about how burnout continues after the company closes. Or about how common it is for founders to experience that prolonged stress. And when we do talk about it, it’s still stigmatized.

There are amazing voices out there advocating for hustle and sacrifice, and I don’t want to discount them. They’re right, in some ways, you do have to give your all to build something from scratch. But that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.

If you’re someone who realizes you can’t (or don’t want to) give everything to your company, it doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

There’s a quote I used to love:
“If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to help build theirs.”
It inspired me when I was younger. Now, I see it differently.

There’s nothing wrong with supporting someone else’s dream, especially if it aligns with your values, and allows you to grow without losing yourself. Helping others achieve something meaningful is just as valuable as leading the charge yourself. That’s what the human experience should be about.

If you’re still running your own company, I celebrate you. You’re brave. You’re resilient. But if you’ve walked away and chosen a different path, I celebrate that too. Because it’s not failure, it’s growth.

Lesson Learned

Burnout doesn’t always look like breaking down, it can look like survival mode. It can follow you for months or years. But stepping away from something that’s draining you isn’t giving up. It’s choosing growth. There’s strength in knowing your limits and deciding your path with intention, not ego.